Yak!

This is a Yak. =P

Free Hugs

I love the idea of brightening someone's day with a simple hug.

 

Youtube video: http://youtube.com/watch?v=iGcjtDXrlVs

Official website: http://www.freehugscampaign.org/

Wiki: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Free_Hugs_Campaign

 

You can't go wrong with a free hug. =D

Inevitable

That's it. The inevitable happened.

 

...

 

 

I clicked the Random Strip link and it showed me a strip that I've already read.

 

Truly, a sad moment.

Garfield Freak

I estimate that I read about 30 - 40 Garfield comic strips per day. At this rate, I'll run out of Random strips soon and I'll have to begin to get reruns. And soon after that, I'll have to go to the first strip and work myself forward in order to squeeze out every strip that was ever drawn. And soon after that, I'll have to wait for 24 hours just to get my Garfield fix.

 

I hope this addiction doesn't get that far. =P

Random Strip

I'm loving my Garfield iGoogle Gadget! It has a Random Strip function that gives me an instant gratification for my comical hunger.

 

When I need a logical break, I just open my browser -- I have set iGoogle as my home page -- and click Random Strip. And huala! A new comic strip appears. If that is not enough, I can do it again and again and again. It's so convenient! I love it! Hehehe.

 

Garfield makes me laugh.

 

But I'm glad he's not my cat.

PR

My application for permanent residence has been approved! All I have to do right now is to complete the formalities and it's all done. I'll have my own NRIC. Yahoo!!!

 

Let's celebrate! =D

Garfield

This is the day's Garfield strip when I was born. Heh! =D

Checklist

...of a true boyfriend???

 

When she stares at your mouth
[ smile...then kiss her ]

When she pushes you or hit's you
[ hug her tight ]

When she starts cursing at you
[ say i love you ]

When she's quiet
[ hold her hand and ask what's wrong ]

When she ignores you
[ act cute so she'll notice you ]

When she pulls away
[ Pull her back ]

When you see her at her worst
[ tell her you love her and she still
looks amazing ]

When you see her start crying
[hold her...ask her what's wrong]

When you see her walking
[ approach her..give a kiss on the
cheek. ]

When she's scared
[assure her you're not goin to leave
her ]

When she lays her head on your
shoulder
[ tilt your head too..and hold her
hand ]

When she steals your favorite hat
[ let her keep it]

When she teases you
[ Tease her back and make her laugh ]

When she doesnt answer for a long time
[ reassure her that everything is
okay ]

When she looks at you with doubt
[ Back yourself up ]

When she says that she likes you
[ she really does more than you could
understand ]

When she grabs at your hands
[ Hold hers and play with her
fingers ]

When she bumps into you
[ bump into her back and make her
laugh ]

When she tells you a secret
[ keep it safe and untold ]

When she looks at you in your eyes
[ dont look away until she does ]

When she misses you
[ she's hurting inside ]

When you break her heart
[ the pain never really goes away ]

When she says its over
[ she still wants you to be hers ]

When she repost this bulletin
[ she wants you to read it ]


- Stay on the phone with her even if
shes not saying anything.

- When she's mad hug her tight and
don't
let go

- When she says she's ok dont believe
it, talk with her

- because 10 yrs later she'll remember
you:

- Call her at 12:00am on her birthday
to
te ll her you love her

- Call her before you sleep and after
you wake up

- Treat her like she's all that matters
to you.

- Tease her and let her tease you back.

- Stay up all night with her when she's
sick.
- Watch her favorite movie with her or
her favorite show even if you think its
stupid.
- Give her the world.

- Let her wear your clothes.

- When she's bored and sad, hang out
with her.

- Let her know she's important.

- Kiss her in the pouring rain.

- When she runs up at you crying, the
first thing you say is;
"Who's ass am I kicking babe?"

 

I just got this from a bulletin in friendster. I'm posting this here as a way of archiving this information. I'll get back on this list when I get into a new relationship and see if I pass the author's criteria of being a true boyfriend.

How to take back a birthday greeting

Jap bday mo?
Jap happy bday
me joke lang
me wala lang to
Jap bawiin mo ung greet ko
me haha
me  happy bday
Jap yan
me o ayan
Jap ok na
me hehehe
me quits na
me hehehe

Papaya

Taken without permission from here.

 

Papayas offer not only the luscious taste and sunlit color of the tropics, but are rich sources of antioxidant nutrients such as carotenes, vitamin C and flavonoids; the B vitamins, folate and pantothenic acid; and the minerals, potassium and magnesium; and fiber. Together, these nutrients promote the health of the cardiovascular system and also provide protection against colon cancer. In addition, papaya contains the digestive enzyme, papain, which is used like bromelain, a similar enzyme found in pineapple, to treat sports injuries, other causes of trauma, and allergies.

 

...

 

Papayas are also a good source of fiber, which has been shown to lower high cholesterol levels. The folic acid found in papayas is needed for the conversion of a substance called homocysteine into benign amino acids such as cysteine or methionine. If unconverted, homocysteine can directly damage blood vessel walls and, if levels get too high, is considered a significant risk factor for a heart attack or stroke.

 

Point: Papaya is good.

 

This one is taken from another website (also without permission).

 

Papaya (like aniseed) is estrogenic, meaning it has compounds that act as the female hormone estrogen. It has been used as a folk remedy in promoting menstruation and milk production, facilitating childbirth and increasing the female libido.

 

Point: Papaya is really good.

Rey's poem

This is a poem shared to me by a friend.

 

Reluctance

 

Out through the fields and the woods
And over the walls I have wended;
I have climbed the hills of view
And looked at the world, and descended;
I have come by the highway home,
And lo, it is ended.

The leaves are all dead on the ground,
Save those that the oak is keeping
To ravel them one by one
And let them go scraping and creeping
Out over the crusted snow,
When others are sleeping.

And the dead leaves lie huddled and still,
No longer blown hither and thither;
The last long aster is gone;
The flowers of the witch-hazel wither;
The heart is still aching to seek,
But the feet question 'Whither?'

Ah, when to the heart of man
Was it ever less than a treason
To go with the drift of things,
To yield with a grace to reason,
And bow and accept the end
Of a love or a season?

 

Robert Frost

wesupportgovpanlilio@gmail.com

I got this from one of the members of pinoyITdotSG mailing list. I just want to share this with you guys in case you are not aware of this yet. After reading the title, I can't help but ask, "What are the Lasallian officials doing about this issue?" There must be something. Lol. =P

 

Ateneo official rallies support for embattled Panlilio

email wesupportgovpanlilio@gmail.com

November 12, 2007
Updated 20:57:27 (Mla time)
TJ Burgonio
Inquirer

MANILA, Philippines -- A youth leader at the Ateneo de Manila University is rallying support for Pampanga Governor Ed Panlilio who has come under fire from local officials over his exposé of alleged bribery in Malacañang.

Harvey Keh, director for Youth Leadership and Social Entrepreneurship of the AdMU's School of Government, urged the public to send an email of support for the embattled governor at wesupportgovpanlilio@gmail.com.

"I'd like to ask for a few minutes of your time to send an email of support to Governor Ed Panlilio. Let us all tell him that we are behind him in his quest for the Truth,'' he said in an email.

"What is at stake here is not only the people of Pampanga but the nation as a whole. Governor Ed exposed what has long been happening in Malacañang and now he is being punished for it. Will you do something about it?''

Keh said that Panlilio has come under fire from local officials in the province since his exposé.

"Right now, local officials in Pampanga led by Vice Governor Yeng Guiao are ganging up on him and marginalizing him by not respecting his authority as governor,'' he said.

Some media publications in the province were also being used to "destroy his credibility,'' he added.

Panlilio admitted receiving a P500,000 cash gift following a breakfast meeting with President Gloria Macapagal-Arroyo in Malacañang on October 11. Some congressmen later followed suit.

The President disclaimed any knowledge of the handouts that came on the heels of a fresh complaint to impeach her over a controversial broadband deal with a Chinese firm, among others.

Occidental Mindoro Representative Ma. Amelita Villarosa, a member of the President's party, Kabalikat ng Mamamayang Pilipino (Kampi), said that Kampi was the source of P500,000 given each to at least two congressmen.

Keh said that Panlilio has been performing well in less than six months in office, but has now become the object of black propaganda.

He said for instance that the governor managed to raise a certain amount of quarry taxes in two months, which his predecessor raised in a year.

The mayors and board members are now demanding part of this collection money, and were blackmailing the governor by threatening not to pass key legislation that will benefit the people of Pampanga, according to Keh.

"Isn't this a familiar refrain in our country? Someone does good and yet he is often punished for doing what is right. And worse, while this is happening, many of us just turn a blind eye, without doing anything,'' he said.

"It is no wonder why majority of our government leaders are becoming bolder and bolder in becoming corrupt since for them, no one would dare complaint about it.''

Keh said the Filipinos deserved the current crop of leaders "because we continue to do nothing despite the fact that we see there is something wrong.''

He said that any email of support would be printed and given to Panlilio "to show him that he is not alone in his quest for the Truth.''

"Let us show the world that the Filipino people will not just allow another Good Man to fail and let evil prevail,'' he said.

Reverse Bungee

This is something that I'm going to try one of these days. I still haven't decided when to do it but soon enough, I will.

 

Click here.

http://www.visitsingapore.com/publish/stbportal/en/home/what_to_see/themed___other_attractions/g-max_reverse_bungy.html

Top 4 reasons why I like ladies for housemates

1. They are neat.

2. They are easily amused, thus being fun to be with.

3. They are easy to get along with.

4. They cook for you.

new housemates

I got new housemates!

 

The Thai girls that were occupying the master's bedroom left and three Pinays moved in. So now there are six of us, including the American who teaches at Temasek Poly. The flat is starting to feel like home.

 

I'm so happy! =)

SPP CLP is over

The Lord's Day celebration last Saturday marks the end of the CLP at SPP. It is finally over. My Thursday nights are free again. Hurray!

 

103 graduates from one CLP! Wow! That's a feat. Congratulations to all, specially to my service teammates for a job well done!

BS

a lot of things happened during the weekend. but i dont feel like blogging about it. i'm not sure why. maybe because there is no motivation to vent.

 

=P

my heart

my heart's been on an emotional roller coaster ever since that dream. i feel so tired. if only my heart could rest.

what is painful love?

i'm feeling miserable right now. F and I talked last night and it left me with a heavy heart. apparently, she was hurt by our last encounter and she removed me from her friends list. by chance, the birthday celebration i had planned was cancelled and left me with a free night. i wanted to know how much F has changed because i felt like i don't know her anymore. so i called her.

"hello!"
"hello, wassup? nasan ka?"
"office, ikaw?"
"nasa bugis"
"anong ginagawa mo sa bugis?"
"nasa mrt ako. OT ka ba? what time ka lalabas? gusto mo magdinner?"
"uhm... hanggang 8 pa ako"
i checked the time, it was 7:15
"ah... ok. next time na lang, marami pa namang next time e. hehehe"
"sure ka?"
"anong sure ako? bakit wala na bang next time?"
"nakita mo na ba yung friendster?"
"ha? hindi. bakit? in a relationship ka na?"
"hindi pa. binura kita sa friendster, sa gmail at sa YM"
"nyak! bakit?"
"basta"

i had to talk to her. but not before making sure that she wanted to talk to me too. i didn't know what made her do that. delete me from her friendster. i thought we were friends. i was counting on to that. and there i was, i wasn't even her friendster. it was only 7:30 when i reached her building. i passed the time wondering what made her do it.

we were able to talk about the sensitive topics that she didn't want to talk about before. i was able to tell her everything i wanted to tell her. how i loved her so much and how i felt betrayed when she broke up with me. i told her i was not okay. while this was going on, i was asking myself, "what do i hope to accomplish?" i did not have an answer, but that did not stop me from pouring my heart out.

and as i talked to her all night, i was feeling pain. more pain. more than i what started out with. i realized that she's still the same. my love for her is still the same. but i am no longer the same. for the same love that used to give me great joy now gives me great pain.

filler no. 415

Use me as you will
Pull my strings just for a thrill
And I know I'll be okay
Though my skies are turning gray

I will never let you fall
I'll stand up with you forever
I'll be there for you through it all
Even if saving you sends me to heaven

happy

I'm happy now.

 

Yes I am.

 

That is why I 'm forcing myself to blog... even if I don't feel like it.

 

Hay...  =P

 

JUMP!

baskin'

I woke up in the middle of the night. I can't sleep so I blogged to pass the time.

I am basking in my melancholy. I am yearning for the past. I am yearning to relive the happy moments I had with F. The good times. And for a short while, I did. I was able to remember how good it felt to be loved. Most importantly, I felt my love for her. I realize that I am happier thinking about how much I loved her than how much she loved me.

It's hard to admit that I'm suffering. (Damn this stupid pride!) This is the best thing that ever happened to me, and now it ends. (I will never forget time we went to a mall near our school. I was driving and she was giving me the directions. I told her, "You're my map. I am lost without you." She was always good with directions. She had always given me directions. I have a lot of things going on in my mind and she is the one who gives me focus. I wouldn't be in Singapore if it weren't for her. She was there for me during my darkest days. She's the person I can do nothing with and never be bored. I can talk to her about anything and everything.) I have no one to blame but myself. To thy ownself be true. Who am I kidding? I'm not okay. I will be, but not right now. I was okay then, but not anymore.

It's funny how my dreams reflect more truth than reality. It's funny how a single dream can change you from doing great to being a total wuss (like what I am doing now). It's just too bad that my dream came late. It feels as if I don't know her anymore. She has changed. I have changed. She has moved on. And I know, soon enough, when I'm ready, I will move on too.

But for now, let me bask in my melancholy.



so much for not being a sad person...

=P

i'm not a sad person

I don't want to fill this blog with sad and depressing entries but it seems that only when I'm feeling down that I feel like blogging. This is some sort of outlet for me. My catharsis, perhaps?

 

According to answers.com, Catharsis is defined as a release of emotional tension, as after an overwhelming experience, that restores or refreshes the spirit.

 

Perhaps not. Based on the definition above, this blog is not a catharsis for me. I do not feel refreshed nor my spirit restored after making an entry. At best, I just feel lighter. Or should I say, less heavy.

 

Also from answers.com: Vent is defined as a means of escape or release from confinement; an outlet.

 

So that's what this is. My vent. My outlet.

 

I am not a sad person. I just blog more when I'm depressed.

 

=P

my dreams are killing me

My dreams are killing me.

 

I hate them.

 

I have no control over them.

 

The worst part of it is, I actually enjoy these dreams. Then, I wake up. Everything comes back to me.

 

That's when it starts to hurt.

 

And my day is ruined before it has begun.

Hurt by Johnny Cash

I hurt myself today
To see if I still feel
I focus on the pain
The only thing that's real
The needle tears a hole
The old familiar sting
Try to kill it all away
But I remember everything

[Chorus:]
What have I become
My sweetest friend
Everyone I know goes away
In the end
And you could have it all
My empire of dirt
I will let you down
I will make you hurt

I wear this crown of thorns
Upon my liar's chair
Full of broken thoughts
I cannot repair
Beneath the stains of time
The feelings disappear
You are someone else
I am still right here

If I could start again
A million miles away
I would keep myself
I would find a way

Waraku: totemo oishi desu

Last night, Liz and I went back to East Coast Road. This time to try Waraku, the Japanese resto. She had a stressful day at work while I had a really slow and boring day. Just like what I'm having right now. Very uneventful. lol. I was hoping that some Jap food would turn our day around. Happily, it did. Allow me to share.

I forgot to bring my Powershot so my phone cam would have to do. It's better than nothing! Good thing I have a Cybershot phone. The quality is not that bad. =)

We got to the place at around 7:30ish. (I had previously mistaken the nearby Hongkong Tea House for Waraku because the sign was red and there were Japanese-like characters on it. I was not really paying attention 'cause I was really excited to eat.) I think Liz was just as excited as I was.

Liz: the girl in blur

Seeing the pictures of food displayed outside the resto made my mouth water and my stomach grumble.


Waraku's facade: simple but very Japanese (I like)

We had a really hard time ordering. There were so many choices and we could not decide what to order. We wanted to try everything. Really! I think it took us 15 - 20 minutes to decide. lol. I had to tell Liz that we'll just come back for the things we could not try that night. That made her less undecided. =P

I ordered... lemme think... ah! Tsubaki Set meal. It includes a bowl of mushroom noodle soup and bbq eel with rice. The waiter asked me if I wanted Udon or Soba. I didn't know what he meant so Liz and the waiter explained that udon noodles are thick and soba noodles are thin. I thought thick noodles are unusual so I said: "Oh, I'll have the thick one."

How about that! I learned something new. Now, I know what udon and soba are. =)

Liz ordered Salmon in cream sauce noodles and a set of Unagi Fotomaki.

There was no California Maki in the menu... and I did not bother to ask. Toink! =P

My eyes opened wide when my food arrived. The serving was big enough for two! I was afriad that I could not finish them all. lol! But eventually, I did. Well, there were still some soup left on the bowl... but I ate all the noodles! Liz's food was huge too. Probably even more than mine. And it tastes better than mine, too.

Yes, I tasted her food again. lol.

The food we ordered was good for four. We had hardly eaten half of our food but we were already full. We decided to stop eating first and talk while waiting for our stomach to make room for more food.

We had to stop. We could not eat anymore.


Mushroom and udon noodles: the orange thing in the middle is caviar (I think)


Unagi: BBQ eel (yummy!)


Salmon in "kurimu" sauce: Liz never got to finish her food


Unagi Fotomaki: we almost forgot to take this picture

The damage was 50 bucks. The bottomless green tea costs 1sgd. Cold water is free. The service was okay. Though they were shouting all around (They were shouting phrases like "____, onegaishimasu!"), I didn't mind. I was busy enjoying the food and talking to Liz.

We will definitely go back to Waraku. This time, we'll bring reinforcements.

=P

fixing other people's problems

One stupid thing I always do is that I always try to fix other people's (particularly girls') problems. This was very apparent in my relationship with F. She would tell me her problems about her dormmates, her studies, her friends, and her family. I would then give her advice on what to do and how to do it. But all she really wanted was to be heard. To connect to me by making me feel what she feels. And I believe that most, if not all, girls are like that. They just want to be heard.

Unfortunately, it's hard for me to kick the habit. I have to restrain myself from fixing their problems. Sometimes, or rather most of the time, I catch myself in the middle of giving unsolicited advice. When that happens, I imaginarily hit myself in the head and hope that my friend doesn't find me obtrusive. lol

I don't know if this is what they call the Messiah Complex (Bruce Wayne, anyone?). But if it is, I got a mild case of it.

=P

The Jeweller's Shop

I have just seen the play entitled The Jeweller's Shop. It's a play written by Pope JP2.

Shouts: JP2 we love you!

But, although I love JP2, I didn't actually like the play. Sorry. It wasn't that it was too idealistic (although slightly). It wasn't too mushy either (again, although slightly). It was not because it wasn't entertaining. It was.

The reason why I didn't like the play is because, for some reason, it roused up my fear of commitment. The mix of mushiness and idealism of the story ruined it for me. Add the fact that it was written by the late pope, a world renowned celibate. It simply didn't appeal to me. I guess it's just a matter of taste.

Like an ugly monster sticking it's head out.
Quickly, I chased it away
and washed the thought out of my head.
And though I seem fine now,
I would be cautious and vigilant.
For I know that it is there,
lurking at the back of my mind,
waiting for the day when love comes to visit me again.

my five-second whispered prayer

Lord, please teach me to be happy with the things that I have. Please continue to remind me that you have given me so much and that I should not ask for more. Please free me from thoughts of envy and greed. This I ask in Jesus' name. Amen.

new housemates soon

By mid-October, I'll be having new housemates. The Thai girls in the master's bedroom will be replaced by 3 pinays. Hurray!

Soon, it will feel like a house. I will no longer be constrained in my room.

 

We can clean the house together. (or the girls can do that without me. lol!)

We'll have lower utility bills. (the Thais consume a lot of electricity.)

We'll cook. I hope the girls can cook.

 

The house will feel more cozy when they get in. I think it would be fun to have them around! =)

offering my work to the Lord

I dragged myself to work today. I hate how I hate the going to work this morning. The first working day of the month. The time were I have to submit a time report on my previous month's tasks. I hate how I realize that I did not do my best. And I'm not at the top of my game. I hate how this keeps happening, month after month. So now, I'm gonna try something different. Here's what I'm going to do:

 

I'll offer this month to the Lord.

 

I'll start the morning with prayer. I hope I don't forget. I hope I keep this up. For this, I think I would need a help from my friends. I'll ask them to remind me every morning. For 21 days. I heard that if you do something for 21 consecutive days, it will become a habit. I'll put that theory to the test.

cafe oliv

Liz and I had nothing better to do so we decided to dine at Cafe Oliv along East Coast Road. It was a nice diversion from the usual kopitiam/hawker dinner. The resto looks nice and pleasing. They have pasta and grilled entrees. The menu's illustration of the pasta made my mouth water even more. My mouth had been watering earlier because we can't stop talking about food while on our way there.

I also noticed that the ones marked Must Try are all spicy and contain Thai cream sauce. I was tempted to try one but then I saw that the Oliv Beef Stew. I figured that if they named the stew after the resto then it must be good. Plus, it's not spicy so there, I ordered it. Liz ordered Grilled Chicken, which was good. Yes, I tasted her food. lol. We did not wait long (either that or we were just busy talking and we didn't notice time pass by). For starters, we had a soft shell crab dipped in what seems to me like mayo. When my food came, it was on an unusual square bowl. Sorry, no pics. I didn't think that I would blog about this that time. I'm not much of a food critic but by my standards, it was good. Notice how I am playing safe giving a review of the food. lol

We were celebrating Liz's successful petition to the US so she treated me to dessert. Luckily, today was Tuesday and the resto offers 50% off on desserts during Tuesdays and Thursdays. She ordered a warm brownie ala mode which was uhm... a warm brownie with a scoop of vanilla ice cream on top.

Therefore: "ala mode" = "a scoop of vanilla ice cream on top"

It was so good that I still kept digging at it even if I'm already full.

Okay kids, don't do what I just did. That's called Gluttony.

Imagine: Fudgy chocolate brownie with vanilla ice cream on top.

What-to-do-what-to-do? lol

=P

*Sigh!* This is a perfect example of how to make a seemingly ordinary night into a something special: Have a nice friendly date with a beautiful woman in a cozy restaurant. =D

parkway

Riding a cab at night along ECP gave me a bittersweet memory of the times I used to go to the airport to fetch F. She flies via Cebu Pacific so her arrival is always late at night and I have no option but to ride a cab. I remember the times when my heart would beat really fast just thinking about seeing her again. Oh how I really missed her then! Oh how I loved her so much! I remember being breathless in anticipation, waiting for her plane to land. How I would silently wipe my tears (I would not let her see) as I think about the old times and how I sacrificed it for a job in Singapore. It was tears of joy. After a long time away from each other, I'll be seeing her again. I'll be able to hold her again. To kiss her again. To wrap my arms around her. I remember clearly as I'm writing this entry. It's funny how such a beautiful memory can hurt me so much! But in my heart, I know that I would rather feel the pain, than lose this memory. For there is a part of me... that is afraid... that I may never love the same way again.

 

 

parkway

 

i see the long road

the lamp posts and the trees

i see the white stripes passing me by

the lights flashing at my face

there is nothing i can do but sigh

and fight back the tears

for this road that i so fondly take

no longer leads to you

but to a land of unacknowledged fears

changes

I've been here in Singapore for more than a year already. Sad to say, I'm not really glad on how things have progressed.. or regressed. I have not accomplished much. I haven't saved much. Nothing has changed for the good. Everything got worse.

 

Looking back at 2006...

... I had a good relationship with F.

... I had a good relationship with my parents.

... I had a good relationship with my friends.

 

Everything was okay. Then I came here to Singapore. Everything was going well... until I lost my father to cancer. Shortly after, F and I broke up. Now I'm here, blogging about the past and how good it was. It's sad...

 

But I got hope! I believe that things are going to get better. I have the power to change my life. And that's what I intend do.

 

Either that or I'll just lie down and die.

 

=P

oist!

For the first time since we broke up, i addressed F by her first name. For weeks, it has always been, "wassup?" or "hi!" or the playful "oist!" but I had never really called her by her name. I guess it's an integral part of the healing process. I had to let go. Else, I would have been fooling myself -- attempting to hold on to something that would eventually be gone no matter how hard I try. Like, as a child, I would dream about getting money and then I hold on to it so tightly. But when I woke up, there would be nothing inside my clenched fist -- only despair in my heart.

whirlwind

a whirlwind passed me by
and my world spun like a top
i hardly recognize it anymore
slowly I'm coming to my senses
only to realize
that the world is the same
and it is only I who have changed.

confessions of a broken heart

I'm lost. I'm drifting.

I have undergone a major change like I lost a limb.

I used to know who to eat dinner with, who to call at night, who to text Goodnight.

I used to know who to go out with whenever I wanted to unwind,

Who to turn to when I feel like the world is against me,

Who to run to when I feel weak.

I lost my light, my sunshine. I lost my best friend.

I lost my laughter, my passion, my soul.

I lost the best thing that ever happened to me.

Perhaps in time I'll find it again.

Then, I'll be more careful.

Perhaps in time I'll be found again.

Perhaps in time...

so busy but still got time to blog

Two of my colleagues resigned from the company. The last one left yesterday. And now, I'm the only programmer left in our team. Less than 24 hours has passed and I'm feeling the pressure already. They have been pouring tasks on my desks since this morning. One after the other, which is contrary to about a month ago when they haven't given me any tasks to do and I was idle for 2 weeks. I wish that the volume of the tasks here are not as erratic.

 

Can we have some consistency here... please?

 

I wish it was Friday already.

=P

Dinner @ Liz's

What a wonderful time a had last Saturday!

 

It was rainy, yes. But that didn't stop us (Me, Liz, and friends) from having fun.

I came to Liz's place early to help her buy the ingredients at the Shieng Shong Supermarket( i.e. I carried the groceries. lol)

 

Quick question: How do you know if the fish you're buying is fresh?

Answer: If it's swimming in the aquarium!

 

Yep! Now, I know. hehehe.

 

I also learned that Liz is a great cook. And so are her housemates.

The food was... Perfect!

 

They cooked Chicken Aftrida, Lechon Kawali, Steamed Fish, and Tinolang Fish -- the reason for the event. We had leche flan for dessert. Yummy! They did all the cooking. I just watched. I volunteered to wash the dishes but I was not able to since we used disposable plates and utensils. Lucky me! =P

 

I plan to visit them again some time soon. (And bring some red wine to make sangria. Yeah!)

 

Writing this entry made me hungry.

Really hungry.

I can hear my stomach grumbling.

I did not have lunch today.

Monday = Fasting

 

=P

levels of love

Last Thursday, at the CLP in SPP, Father Angel gave an interesting talk about Loving Your Neighbor. He told us that there are three levels of Love.


The first one is Instinct. This level is based on feeling and emotions. I think this is where love at first sight falls. This is where you stay in a relationship with a person simply because she makes you feel good. According to Father Angel, this is the commercial form of love and where the most of the people are in.


The second is Moral. This is where you love a person because your conscience obliges you to.


The third level is Commitment. This is the highest level of love and this is where we should strive to be. This is choosing to love a person despite her short comings. This is the love that I want and the love I will promise to give.

With all these, the film Captain Corelli's Mandolin's definition of love comes to mind...

When you fall in love, it is a temporary madness. It erupts like an earthquake, and then it subsides. And when it subsides, you have to make a decision. You have to work out whether your roots are become so entwined together that it is inconceivable that you should ever part. Because this is what love is. Love is not breathlessness, it is not excitement, it is not the desire to mate every second of the day. It is not lying awake at night imagining that he is kissing every part of your body. No... don't blush. I am telling you some truths. For that is just being in love; which any of us can convince ourselves we are. Love itself is what is left over, when being in love has burned away. Doesn't sound very exciting, does it? But it is!

Amen to that, Dr. Iannis! =)

happy peanuts

One of my colleagues gave me a pack of Happy Peanuts.

Hmmm... Sweet memories. =)

goobye baby

I was browsing through my phone's inbox when I chanced to read one of F's messages. It's been a while since someone called me Baby. I kinda missed it. So now I'm wondering whether I would be called that pet name again or would I be called something else. There's no use thinking about it now. Though it's kinda nice to know that for a time in my life, someone called me Baby... even when she's angry.

 

goodbye, baby

it breaks my heart to see you go.

but life's that way

i have come to know.

just dont forget that

for the past four years,

i had loved you so.

filler no 526

Let me light up the sky,
Light it up for you.
Let me tell you why,
I would die for you.

Let me light up the sky,
Light it up for you.
Let me make this mine,
I'll ignite for you.

 

Wala lang. Nice song by Yellowcard. =)

how to be dead

My attempt to sleep early last night was futile. I wasn't able to sleep until it was already past 1AM. The good news is, I am early for work today. Early, meaning I came on time. The bad news is that I am so sleep! I hope this milk tea I bought from auntie kicks in. Otherwise, this day would be a struggle. And this day, being a Thursday, would be a long one. I love Thursdays!

Why was I unable to sleep early last night?
Of course! Because, yes. (LOL! I love my friends! No, really, I do.)

Come on! Stop trying to make sense of this entry. If you don't get it, then that's just because you think too much. =)

starting small

The following blog entry was written yesterday but was not published until today:

I'm reviving my blog and I think the best way to start it is to start small.
Really, really small.

Let's begin with what happened this morning.

I snoozed my alarm clock thrice. That means I lost 30 minutes of prep
time already. It's really hard to get up when it's so cozy under the blanket.
When I finally left the house, it was already past eight! To add insult to
injury, when I arrived at the MRT station, there was an announcement that the
train will be delayed for 10 minutes.

This is not a good way to start
the morning.

I'll try to sleep earlier tonight. Maybe I will get up
earlier tomorrow. Hopefully. =)

Joe D' Mango's Love Story

Just got this from a forum and I thought it would be nice to share this story. Sorry for the layout. I just copy-pasted lazily.
DISCLAIMER: I'm not sure if this is authentic. Let's take it as fiction based on a true story.

Joe D'Mango's Love Story.

Of course you've heard of Joe D'Mango. He gives advice on love and relationships on Wave 89.1 ( Philippines ) . Have you ever wondered what he does when he has his own love problems? Does he give advice to himself? Does he handle it very well?

Three fridays ago, our guru on relationships, Joe D'Mango, read a letter to his wife on his popular radio program Love Notes. For the past 11 years, he had been giving advice to people who would write him letters about their personal problems. To the surprise of his listeners that Friday, instead of reading one of his usual letters, he read one that he had written himself to his wife Bing. Joe felt that he had to tell his listeners that even someone like him could go through a marital crisis, but that he survived it. Here's how his letter goes:

In our 11 years of marriage it was just the two of us. I never had a close circle of friends and she never had one either. Life for us was just "you and me," day in and day out. We were literally sleeping beside each other for 11 years. It came to a point that there was nothing more interesting to talk about. I was aware I was doing that but I never did anything about it. We were so close yet it seemed like we were so distant. Then came her new circle of friends.

They recently had an elementary and high school reunion. Remember her persistent suitor since elementary days? He was there. We already had four daughters and the guy had four kids of his own. They exchanged phone numbers. They started to text each other and this bothered me. A big part of it was insecurity and other part was that she once denied that she was texting the guy.

I felt bad because she started hiding things from me. Then the guy asked her if they could meet for lunch. It became a source of tension between us. I finally agreed, but before that, I told her that I felt that I was going through the same pain again. I have seen so many stories like this. If you told me the first part of the story, I would already know where it would lead to.

Bing accused me of being a "know-it-all" person. But deep in my heart, I knew where she was heading. Why would a married guy see a married girl unless it was for business or professional reasons? Finally, even if it was against my will, I drove her to the meeting place.

While I was waiting at the radio station, I wanted to call her but knew it wasn't proper. So I just waited for her to tell me how their meeting went.

When she related to me what happened I felt that she was keeping the other details. I was afraid to ask because I wasn't prepared to accept her answers. I told her that it would be best if that was their last meeting. She got mad and told me that I was starting to control her life.

The following day, I saw a small, torn piece of paper that had the words, "lose you" in the trash can at home. I started picking up the pieces of paper and putting them together. She had written: "Felt sad because I felt that this will be our last meeting." "Wanted to hug you..." Before I could figure out what the third one was, Bing was already at my back. She wanted to get the torn pieces of paper back. She said it was private property. We decided to talk.

By then, I was able to figure out the third line: "Not sure if afraid to lose you." She had crossed it out and beside it, she had written, "Wanted to cry."

That was what hit me. How could you lose something that's not even with you yet? That was a confirmation that she was getting emotionally attached to the guy. We fought because she didn't want to admit it. She said that what she had written was all about friendship and not about love. For the first time in our marriage she asked for freedom from me. For 11 years we were always together, and now this.

She had discovered her own little world and wanted to explore it. I didn't want to give it to her but finally I gave in. I told her that she could do anything she wanted and not worry about how I would feel. In fact, I told her that I was planning to leave her and kids for a while so we could give each other the chance to be alone. We decided to give the new arrangement a try.

The following day, Thursday, I went to work early and she texted me. I never answered back. When I didn't respond, she called me. She said, "I'm sorry. I love you and I miss you." For the first time in our mariage I said, "I love you and I miss you too" with tears in my eyes.

I realized how much I loved her but I also knew how much she wanted her freedom. When I arrived at the station I asked for a leave. My boss advised me to think it over, but he said that he would allow me to go on leave. After letting it all out I felt relieved. It was the first time in my life that I asked for advice about our relationship.

While I was talking with my boss, a messenger arrived with 12 white roses arranged in a basket. It came from Bing. Then a text message on my cellphone came, "I know that no material things can ease the pain that you're feeling right now, but these flowers signify my pure and sincere intentions. I'm really sorry. Please forgive me."

Still, a question continued to bug me: "I'm giving you the freedom. Will you choose to stay or go on?" I read the card, and it had the answer to my question: "Dear Dad, I finally realized that I made a very big mistake in choosing a new-found friendship at the expense of our long-time friendship. Please forgive me. I wil always love you."

Bing called the guy and told him that she wanted to end the friendship. He said that they could just text or call each other. Bing said that there was no need.

We had dinner and talked up to 1 am. It was like getting married all over again. We lost each other and found our way back. I do not want to go through the same pain again.

Friday came and it was the first time in the history of Love Notes that I couldn't do Love Notes. I scheduled a replay. When I was at the station at 9 am, I composed a letter to Bing. I was asking myself, should I read this or do a replay? I chose to read the letter. It is not unusual to hear people say "I love you because...," but this story has shown us that the deeper and greater love is having to say "I LOVE YOU IN SPITE OF..."