Pinoy Letter of the Year

Pinoy Letter of the Year

Dear Mr. Secretary,

I'm in the process of renewing my passport, and still cannot believe this.

How is it that Rustan has my address and telephone number, and knows that I bought a Television Set and Golf Clubs from them back in 1997, and yet, the Philippine Government is still asking me where I was born and on what date.

For Christ's sakes, do you guys do this by hand?

My birth date you have in my SSS information, and it is on all the income tax forms I've filed for the past 40 years. It is on my driver's license; on the last eight passports I've ever had, on all those stupid customs declaration forms I've had to fill out before being allowed off the planes over the last 30 years, and all those insufferable census forms that I've filled out.

Also..would somebody please take note, once and for all, that my mother's name is Elsa, my Father's name is Oscar, and I'd be absolutely fucking astounded if that ever changed between now and when I drop dead!!!...

SHIT!

I apologize, Mr. Secretary. But I'm really pissed off this morning. Between you an' me, I've had enough of all this bullshit! You send the application to my house, then you ask me for my fucking address!! What the hell is going on with your mob? Have you got a gang of mindless Neanderthal assholes workin' there!

And another thing, look at my damn picture. Do I look like Bin Laden? I can't even grow a beard for God's sakes. I just want to go to California and see my new granddaughter. (Yes, my son interbred with a Mexican girl).

And would someone please tell me, why would you give a shit whether I plan on visiting a farm in the next 15 days? If I ever got the urge to do something weird to a cow or a horse, believe you me, I'd sure as hell not want to tell anyone!

Well, I have to go now, 'cause I have to go to the other end of the city, and get another fucking copy of my birth certificate, and to part with another P200 for the privilege of accessing MY OWN INFORMATION!

Would it be so complicated to have all the services in the same spot, to assist in the issuance of a new passport on the same day?? Nooooo.. that'd be too fucking easy and makes far too much sense. You would much prefer to have us running all over the place like chickens with our fucking heads cut off, and then having to find some high society wanker to confirm that it's really me in the goddamn photo! You know the photo.. the one where we're not allowed to smile?! .... you fucking morons.

Signed - An Irate Filipino Citizen.