oist!

For the first time since we broke up, i addressed F by her first name. For weeks, it has always been, "wassup?" or "hi!" or the playful "oist!" but I had never really called her by her name. I guess it's an integral part of the healing process. I had to let go. Else, I would have been fooling myself -- attempting to hold on to something that would eventually be gone no matter how hard I try. Like, as a child, I would dream about getting money and then I hold on to it so tightly. But when I woke up, there would be nothing inside my clenched fist -- only despair in my heart.

whirlwind

a whirlwind passed me by
and my world spun like a top
i hardly recognize it anymore
slowly I'm coming to my senses
only to realize
that the world is the same
and it is only I who have changed.